“Why Do I Have to be the Bigger Person?”

What was God thinking when He commanded and instructed us to get along with everyone?  God is omniscient, He knows who we gel with, get along with and who will give their life for us.  On the other hand, He knows who irks us, gets under our skin, causes us to go to happy hour and robs us of our joy.  If He knows that there are individuals who we have no desire to deal with…then why instruct us to get along, pray for and fellowship with everyone?

Paul tells us in Romans 15:18 (NIV), “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Here Paul is telling us that there are some things we need to consider as we deal with people in and on this Christian journey.

• You have a part.  “as far as it depends on you” – Paul says that there is a part we must play in order to live at peace with others.  That part is that we must acknowledge our part in the relationship.  God wants us to treat others as we would treat ourselves.  Too often we find fault in others to justify why we can abolish the relationship.  I am so confident that we could salvage 90% of tested relationships if we put a little effort into it.  Be intentional about restoring someone.  It is easy to let them go…It is hard to work on the relationship.  IT IS REWARDING to see how God works it all out.

• Live at Peace. “live at Peace” – Notice the scripture didn’t say live “in” peace but to live “at” peace.  If I am “at” something, then I have made an intentional effort to get to where I am “at”.  We must be intentional on living at peace.  We must be on the side of peacefulness and not on the side of the hell raisers.  I don’t know about you, but I like to have peace in my life, my work, my home and my places of preference.  There is too much chaos around this world. 

• ALL Inclusive. “everyone” – Lastly, Paul says who is this for?  EVERYONE!  God says we can’t pick and choose who we want to live at peace with.  That means we must be intentional with living at peace with the backstabber, the cheater, the offender, the destroyer and the “whatever else is left!”  Don’t try to avoid the “everyone” and be the bigger person and work toward rebuilding that relationship that has been torn down.  We also should be the bigger person and engage with “everyone” to live at peace.

We should treat others with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, and forgiveness.  I have learned that if I act outside of what God has called me to be or do, I have given emotional power to someone over my life.  I CHOOSE to be bigger than my hurt.  I CHOOSE to be bigger than my offenses.  I CHOOSE to be bigger than my pain.  I CHOOSE to be the bigger person because the BIG God I serve has ordered and directed my steps!

Michael O. Oyedokun II