“I Have Been Unfriended”
“Friends…How many of us have them? Friends…Ones we can depend on.” Some of you caught those lyrics because your age suggest that you were in a generation that remembers that song. If you remember back in 1984 when Whodini released this song it rang in our ears with the beat and rhythm to bop our heads. How many of us really have friends that we can call friends and friends who we can depend on to be there in the good times and the bad?
The reason this subject of “friends” is on my mind is because I am amazed at how we consider our friendship with others. The other day I was noticing that I hadn’t seen a post from a particular person. So, I went to their profile to see that I was “unfriended.” LOL (for those that don’t know what LOL is, it means Laugh Out Loud). I don’t know what I did to this person or what they thought I did but for whatever reason I was “unfriended.” So, my unique mind started to analyze this whole concept of friendship.
Social media has us messed up when it comes to the ideology of friendship. Those who I consider friends (and the number is very small) are those who I have developed a relationship with and when you have true friends there is no “unfriend” button.
It doesn’t matter how messed up or made up you are…friends are there through thick and thin. Friends let you know when you are doing good and will call you out when you are out of order.
Friends won’t abandon you when the world does. Friends don’t get in their feelings and send you to voicemail because you said something ratchet! Friends will understand you, love you, whoop you and comfort you in all aspects of life.
The most hilarious thing about the “unfriending” me on social media is that it was a “silent” protest. They did not contact me or message me to say, “hey, I don’t like you anymore…so I am unfriending you!” They quickly hit a button to change the relationship from “friend” to “not a friend”. If you can change your friendship with me by a click of a button, then you weren’t a friend to begin with. The Word of God in Matthew 18:15 says, “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” If we were truly friends, then you would come to me and tell me what issues you have with me.
Lastly, as I make my way to my close to take my seat. In social media, there are security settings in place that will allow me to monitor and allow who gets to see my profile. So, I have it set up to where only “friends” are able to see the majority of my post. If a person is not my “friend” then they don’t have access to my life. Some people want access to your life, but don’t want to be a “friend.” They will ask others or highjack someone else’s profile to see what you have going on. If you are not a “friend” then that access is not reserved for you! I don’t need fair weathered friends. I need friends who will be there for me when others and this world have “unfriended” me.
Michael O. Oyedokun II
Again you hit the nail on the head. My response is sometimes people will friend you because there is something in it for them. In other words they are just using you to reach their goals. Then when they think their goal is reached they will sabotage the friendship and tell folks it was your fault. I smile and thank God for the experience and the lesson of love. #betterperson,deeperrelationshipwithGod.